Do you know how hard it is to think for 2, speak for 2 or do for 2? I know I don’t. I have not had to do this. The closest I got to doing the three twos was when my Dad had his final stroke. But I have watched two wonderful ladies who have done the three twos with grace, love and understanding. The two loving adult children put their mother’s needs before their own, giving them the help to find their way every day, easing their fears and trying to make them feel loved and that someone cares.
One didn’t want to make Mom give up her beloved home when she had to go to a nursing home. So the home was kept for years just like it was when Mom left. When she was able, Mom could go back and spend a few hours of a day to touch her things and remember the happy times in her home. It was a comfort to Mom to know she still had her house and maybe one day she could go back. The money it took to keep the house open was money well spent for the happiness and piece of mind it provided. The multi visits a day, making favorite foods, doing the extra laundry and middle of the night phone calls became a way of life. And when a visit turned bad because Mom said she hadn’t done enough she sucked it up, put the hurt behind her and started another day.
One didn’t want to take Mom’s car keys away when her mind began to betray her. So the car still sits in the garage as if Mom could go for a spin at anytime. It’s not likely that she will. She can’t remember what day or time it is much less where the keys are. So Mom consumes all of her day answering the same question a hundred times a day, giving her meds and oxygen and taking care of her every need. She has become Mom’s security blanket, much like a child’s favorite blanket. Mom depends on her to be her mind and without her she has nothing but fear and confusion. So 24/7 she gives every minute to Mom. And when it get to be too much she sucks it up, puts her wants and needs behind her and starts another day.
Thinking for 2, Speaking for 2, Doing for 2 is not an easy job. These two have taken the opportunity to give back to their Mom’s what she gave to them in the early years of their lives.
2008 12 21 Christmas KY Lucille Messamore
2008 12 21 Christmas KY (3)
Just remember with older people…..don’t lose your patience with them, don’t scold or curse or cry at them, because sometimes they can’t help the way they act and you may be just like them one day.